Loveless Lover and Nogard

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The rocky edge of the cliff digs into her bare feet beneath her black billowing skirts. A salty wind dances around unable to soothe her.

Her head aches with the tension and toll it takes to not shake. Inside her heart cracks and breaks.

 

From beside her someone places a bow and arrow into her hands. She cannot see them, she only has eyes for the horizon and his ship.

Great white sails appear like clouds moving towards the setting sun.

A tremble escapes her as she sees the sails rise and fall in the shifting winds as if the ship were breathing one final time for him.

Hands steady she steels herself as she holds the bow and knocks the arrow.  A flaming torch sets fire to the tar covered arrow head.

As she pulls back the arrow she watches as the ship is embraced by the setting sun.

Releasing the arrow it felt as if it had come from her heart, instead of her hand, leaving behind an unfillable hole.

Finding its mark the sails catch fire, the ship and sun finally become one.

“He always did enjoy sailing with the sun…” someone whispers.

Pain wrenches through her chest like a knife. Her hand searches for the weapon but finds only her leather corset and vest.

Unable to watch anymore she turns and runs. Freeing her long dark hair from the tight knot is a small comfort as it flies out behind her, much like her Hawk had once done. They would run through the castle without a care.

Trying to ignore the pain of the memory she runs faster, down the backside of the cliff, she does not feel the pain of the rocks biting into her feet. Over the beach, she runs the salty sea striking her bleeding souls but still, she does not feel anything other than the pain.  Through the castle, she runs not even stopping to look at the smoldering torches now in mourning.

Many call out to her but she is deaf to them.

Deep into the forest, she runs, her legs burning with exhaustion, gasping for breath still she runs.

Only when a root catches her foot does she fall. The ground rises up to meet her rather rudely.

On impact, a sob escapes her in the form of a whispered word. “Nogard.”

The ground shakes and the leaves of the nearby trees quake softly whispering shush.

Hands stinging, heading pounding she struggles to rise. Gathering her skirts and her composure she finds both torn.  Still, her gaze rises even though she cannot. Black claws sheathed in silver scales dug into the ground before her. “Make it stop, I can’t do this, not again, make it stop…please.” She begs, her voice strangled by the tears that fight to rise.

Black and silver wings fold upon his heavily scaled back while his head snakes down to meet her. Mismatched eyes, one gray the other blue hold, sympathy? Can dragons feel sympathy for those less than themselves?

Opening his mouth he breathes warm intoxicating air over her, a brief comfort.

“You know I cannot little one, this is your life, your doom. A creation from a loveless coupling, pain is all you will ever know. Face it, embrace it and maybe one day it will set you free. It is quite sad the loveless lover can feel so much love for others and yet never feel loved.”

He blinks slowly then breathes upon her again after hearing her gasp in pain from the truth. Such soothing warmth she wished to stay like this for all time.

Without warning reality’s cold wind rips through her.  She cries out as a fresh wave of pain seizes her.

“Hold onto the love you have for others, and maybe one day you will love yourself,” Nogard growls softly.  His wings caress the top of her head as they unfold…

All too soon she is alone, again.

It was a year, as is custom before she rose from the forest. Returning to her reign, once again.

The pain subsides but the hole remains.

With a whisper from Nogard, she is given a purpose, a new task. “Find the Worthless Wizard and the Fallen Star. Only when they are found will the hole be filled and you will know who you are, breaking the curse for all eternity.”

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Nano winner 2016

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Well, I said I would put up my personal experience of doing Nanowrimo and here it is. When I first started I had a completely different story in mind. I even went as far as doing some planning and character sheets. And then it hit me, a simple picture from a scene that grew into something more. I do not want to say too much about the story yet so we will save that for later. But you can imagine how behind I felt because this new story just completely overtook my mind. I did not even have all my people and setting down only my two main characters. My previous planning was not completely wasted though. I plan on finishing the fantasy fiction piece soon.  Southern Comfort, is the title who bullied to the front of my mind. It may change but in all honesty, I do not think it will. It is a simple romance that gets complicated by the past just like everyday life. Our past often makes us who we are but not who we are going to be.

My nano experience started when I took my two children to the library. They ran off to the toys and computers to play. They pick out a ton of books but they enjoy the computers they can do educational games. What caught my eye was all the writing books the librarians had put out front. I LOVE to write, even if I am not good at it. Writing for me is meditation for others, I usually feel much better when I have written for a bit. So you could imagine my excitement when I saw all the books on how to write various things. When you love something you want to know everything about it and do it all the time. So of course I went and checked out what selection they had. Smack dab in the middle of the books were some white and blue papers that said Nanowrimo. They offered information and a writers group that was meeting at the library that night. In all honesty, I eager but apprehensive about Nanowrimo. I had tried the previous year and failed.  I still have bits of the story, but I was all by myself and no one cared about my writing which made me not care about it. I did not want to do that again even though no one knew, I knew I had failed and it disappointed me . But something said to try again and not to give up on that dream. I took the paper with me then proceeded to chase my kids around the library. Trying stopping them from filling their bags with every book they could reach.

I found myself back at the same library wondering if I was going into a completely empty room. I felt like a dork. The first time I went to an actual writers group it was about a handful of old people. Who in all honesty were stuck up and stuffy, it turned my younger and novice self off to writers group. I did not mind proud people or educated people and I was hoping for older people because they can be  wise. But it felt like a closed off group one that did not want new novice members. They did not even bother to bring in more chairs for me or anyone else who showed up. 😦 Now you know why I was unsure about trying this writing group thing again. But I did, I sucked it up and walked in. To my horror, older people, and younger people were there and they had plenty of chairs. There was even an older gentleman wearing a cool leather jacket. I enjoyed listening to them read their work as well as give advice to each other on how to handle their own writing. I got the biggest laugh from a gentleman who wrote non-fiction and had the biggest opinions. I will say he seemed knowledgeable on different topics but he did not have much of a filter and was quite blunt. People seemed interested in me and my writing which felt nice. I did not get information about Nanowrimo until the end. Which was not a big deal, because I got to hear some great stories and some even greater heated discussions. The lady in charge mentioned the first nano planning meeting where the ML would be there. I looked forward to going and something seemed to spark inside of me. Maybe it was because for once there was going to be the best of both worlds. An older person who likes to write and help others with their writing, can’t go wrong there. I must say she is nice and  well educated. She seems to care about people’s writing. Because of her and those around her I was able to finish my zero draft. I enjoyed getting away from the children and getting to know fellow writers and my ML made it all possible.

I have noticed most writers do not get the support they need from those closest to them for whatever reason. This is true for me as well. While my husband supports me he does not get that enthusiastic look when I finish up a chapter or finally a novel! The group I spent time writing with is just awesome about even writing 100 hundred words in 20 minutes. I also enjoyed how they would push me to write more and dig deeper into my writing. I am looking forward to the TGIO party coming up, I will post pictures and let you know how it goes. For now, I will leave you with this; I enjoyed doing NaNoWriMo this year and I owe that all to the regional group I joined. Even writers have to come out of their shell, feel free to crawl out and say hello, I promise to respond quietly.